bounce back
steve 3-5
bears @ failclowns 47
texans @ steelers over 45.5
cardinals -5.5 v lions
colts -11.5 v jets
coast 2-6
lions +5.5 @ cardinals
packers +3 @ saints
wash +7 @ browns
Jets +11.5 @ colts
feyes 6-2
Ariz. -5.5
ATL -3
Jags -3
Min Tenn. U 49.5
week 2, lotta live dawgs
steve 2-2
panthers +8.5 @ buccs
bills @ dolphins over 41
vikings +3 @ colts
49ers @ jets under 41.5
coast 1-3
lions +6.5 v lions
chiefs -8.5 @ chargers
bills -5.5 @ dolphins
colts -3 v vikings
feyes 2-2
packers -6.5 v lions
Rams +1.5 @ eagles
Jags +7.5 @ titans
49ers -7 @ jets
by steve
The annual why your team sucks post from Drew Magary is out (sshhhh here is how u get past the paywall)
Here are some highlights:
well here is my email first
"The Bills went 10-6 have gotten outcoached in playoff games by Bologna Marrone and Bill O’Brien. The mafia wants to name streets after McDermott because he beats the Jets and Dolphins and doesn’t dream about licking feet."
If you’re a Bills fan, your entire life is a series of sliding doors. You endure that game and spend years and years after the fact thinking about every last if…
so true
double hurt on this one: "McDermott is both capable and sane, which means he can’t possibly tolerate staying in Buffalo for much longer. It’s like when some dipshit mid-major college coach wins a tourney game as a 14-seed. You know they’re leaving the second someone offers to quadruple their salary. So big congrats to McDermott on breaking his contract in January to sign with the Texans. It’s what God clearly intended."
oof: "Life here is nothing but awful streaks. I’m supposed to believe this man is poised to become Racist Mahomes. You know who had better stats than Josh Allen in every major category last season? Daniel Jones."
oof again: "Do you know how much you have to suck to blow a playoff game to Bill O’Brien? Bill O’Brien couldn’t hold onto a lead if he fucking keistered it. And yet this team pulled a Bill O’Brien against Bill O’Brien. No one ever learns anything up here. "
alright alright lay off us: "Even if you guys DO win the division, what awaits you? I’ll tell you what awaits you. A wild card loss. At home. To the Patriots. After blowing a 24-0 lead. You won’t learn a goddamn thing from it. It’ll be nothing but ifs until the day you die."
lol: "My wife and kids visited Buffalo on their way to Niagara Falls a year ago (they were bored), and my 11-year-old was so amused by the Buffalo accent that he STILL makes fun of it. “Yeah, I’m going in my CARR. To the BARR. It’s not very FARR.” He’s crossed the line from using it ironically to making it part of his daily vernacular, and for that I must now sell him. "
wreck esque "What might not suck: Take it from a Vikings fan: Diggs is incredible. He’ll tweet poorly veiled shade at Allen and demand a trade out of this shithole come Week 12. But before that happens? PURE ELECTRICITY."
a funny email not sent by me: "These owners gave the head coach an extension after he turned things around with a phenomenal 25–23 record, including one of the most embarrassing playoff collapses I’ve ever seen. These owners made their fortune because they just so happened to be involved in fracking in Pennsylvania in the ‘80s, and now they run their two shiny toys the same way — hoping to stumble on success by sheer accident."
cheap shots by matt here: "Upstate New York is full of men who spend thousands of dollars on season tickets to Bills games that they cannot remember due to chronic Labatt’s/Krupnik/Antifreeze poisoning and women who look like Rex Ryan without the dainty charm. The only difference between rural Alabama and the slice of New York between Buffalo and the Pennsylvania state line is that the people in Alabama root for a football team that’s actually won a championship."
this describes coast: "Josh Allen is more powerful than Bloody Mary; you just have to say his name once on Twitter to summon the worst people on Earth into your mentions. Over and over again. And if you aren’t 1000% sold on him, you’re not a true fan / in the ‘Bills mafia,’ a group of the dumbest chuds in Western New York."
The only thing Magary was way off on is the Andrew Cuomo bit. Buffalo didnt bote for the guy in nearly the numbers the rest of the state did and he doesnt know Buffalo is in NY half the time.
overall B+
new season new bets more money
steve
Ravens -7.5 v Browns
Panthers +2.5 v Raiders
Eagles -5.5 @ Washington
Rams +2 v Cowboys
Coast
Rams +2 v Cowboys
Buccs +3.5 @ Saints
Browns +7.5 @ Ravens
Colts +8 @ Jags
Feyes
Lions -3
Jags +8
ATL +2.5
Steelers -6
by steve
Killed the AFC predictions last year but a god awful 6-10 record predicting the NFC win totals last year, oof. Here is this years AFC predictions.
2020 NFC win total predictions:
Falcons
7.5
This coach is a dead man walking. Tough-ish division too.
under
Panthers
5.5
Rebuild
under
Bears
8.5
Why should I believe Mitchy is gonna win 9 games?
under
Lions
6.5
Seems like a low number
over
Packers
9
How did this team win 13 games last year? Damn. But are they some how 5 games worse?
over
Vikings
9
push
Eagles
9.5
Damn it Ill buy into them yet again
over
Seahawks
9.5
Wilson is gotta be exhausted
under
Washington
5.5
Haskins and a sick coach?
under
Cardinals
7.5
Kyler has the weapons but this division is tough.
under
Saints
10.5
Am I the only one that watched Brees look like a used tissue in the playoffs? Hes done.
49ers
10.5
Team has too much talent
over
Buccaneers
9.5
Tawm dont have Billy and likely cant cheat.
under
Cowboys
9.5
Is Dak motivated or spurned? This team is always over valued by the betting public.
under
Rams
8.5
Goff sucks but his contract is much worse. McVey seems like he is already burned out.
under
Giants
6
push
