Friday, July 31, 2015

10 Most Important Buffalo Bills Heading to Camp

By Steve

Training camp is upon us. Since everyone is writing the same previews instead I'll run down a list of the most important players on the Bills heading in to camp. Since all the QBs suck and have little chance of being anything other than mediocre none are included. We know the quarterback position is the most important and would always be #1 on any list any way.

10. Dan Carpenter

This is mostly a joke because Kid Rock's cousin is just a place kicker but in this offense field goals will be the most likely outcome of each drive. DC is pretty good and needs to keep kickin'

9. Aaron Williams

The Bills determined A-will was their man over Byrd and Da'Norris and paid him. The safety position is one of the more underrated positions in the league. Everyone is passing every play and tight ends are as involved as ever. Williams needs a strong season and to lead the secondary.

8. Cyrus Kouandijo

This guy is teetering on the edge of bust like no other. He has bad knees at 23 and provided literally nothing in his rookie year. If this guy cant anchor the right side of the o-line or even get on the field he'll be an historically bad draft pick. Important position, highly drafted player, no depth behind him and has done nothing, put up or peace out.

7. Sammy Watkins

Yes he is probably more important than number seven but he is completely dependent on TJ Mansselrod getting him the ball. He'll never live up to my expectations because no WR with no QB is worth 2 firsts but nevertheless he needs to be a stud.

6. Eric Wood

One of the more overrated players on the team but he looks like a goofball and is friendly. There is literally (err figuretively) no depth behind this guy and the interior of the offensive line is horrendous. Wood needs to live up to the contract he got and solidify the o-line especially with the run first mentality Roman and co have.

5. Marcell Dareus

I used to call this guy a bust which just proves that even genius can be wrong from time to time. Big daddy is the center piece of this defense. He's finna get paid and needs to keep his nose clean. A one game suspension was a relief but even that will hurt. Do the Bills extend him now or keep him motivated to play for that new contract?

4. Charles Clay

Wait the Bills paid this guy what? 5 years $38 million? 14 career CAREER tuds? Three last year? This guy better step up and be the focal point of this offense. He better be extra motivated to play against Miami and be really good. The Bills havent had a good TE in 20 years. Sorry bud you now have the heavy weight of expectations.

3. Stephone Gilmore

Number 1 cornerback, high draft pick, looking for a new contract for big $$, Gilly needs to be a stand out this year. I was harsh on him last year but he started to come around. Time to do the near impossible and prove me wrong. Not to metion CBs are now one of the most important positions.

2. Mario Williams

Pass rushing beast who makes the most money by far on this roater. Mario hasnt EVER been to the playoffs, not once! Has he played to his contract? No, but you wont find me complaining. The Bills had to over pay the best FA available and he has played really well. So well in fact that no one even bitches about him any more. This city loves to bash high priced players and if M Dubs isnt getting killed any more he most be worth the casheee.

1. Lesean Mccoy

How pathetic is this list that a runningback is number 1 most important player? The 2015 Buffalo Bills ladies and gents! The Bills paid a runningback huge money at a time when few (err no) good teams are paying RBs. They traded a fan favorite young LB just for the rights to a guy that loathed the idea of being traded here. Not to mention the guy is 28 with a ton of mileage. But Shady is still good, real good, but he has to be great. The team needs to run the ball well and it all comes down to Shady.

Notables
Percy Harvin
Cordy Glenn
Jerome Felton (lol jk)
Ronald Darby
Chris Hogan (lol jk)

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Bitchin About Sports on a Thursday

By Steve

Deflate gate has worn me out. Didnt think that was possible! If this goes to a judge and gets delayed into the season i might have a stroke. In the long run if there is an injunction and the suspension is held over the Cheatriots heads all season that would be better than Brady coming back in week 5 and killing everyone. Then again I'd much rather he not play at the Ralph week 2.

God I hate the Patriots.

But not as much as I hate the Bills quarterback situation and Russ Brandon. Has anyone fallen forward in success more than Russ Brandon? He has had a hand in every hire for at least the last decade. He was the GM for a year. Holy shit the guy is a failing loser who knows nothing about football. Wowwee he can sell tickets to gullable bums like me and sell off 10% of our season to Toronto henchman. Fuck Russ Brandon.

God damn the Mets are a joke. They are soooo cheap, make no moves and even when they do they mess those up. Thanks Mets, you fit right in with the Sabres and Bills. Fml.

It sucks that Bills training camp is in East Rochester. 85 minutes away, no parking, not enough space for night practices and awkward set up. I surprisingly would like to attend but all that effort for a night practice isnt worth it. Gotta drive there, no beer, find a ticket, sit on a bus to get there after parking. Geez.

No Colin Cowherd on ESPN Radio is a disaster. True they dont have a permanent replacement yet but that puts a dent in my motivation to go to work. Where was he wrong in stating that poor hispanic countries have bad education systems. Or was he describing Buffalo"s schools? Granted that wasnt why hes gone permanently but still, shorts me a week.

Now on to the weekly QB bitching. Some Vegas website actually had EJ Manuel as the favorite to start. Thats surprising. Tyrod Taylor would still be the ideal selection but all these fuckboys are losers. The idea that these 3 wont tank the season seems very remote. We'll see. Training camp is finally here. Christ

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Bitchin About Sports on a Thursday

By steve

Either Lesean Mccoy is really stupid or he just doesnt give a fuck but I love it. Posting secret party invites on twitter and instagram and using Bills logos? Haha. Females only! 21+! Sign this confidentiality agreement! What a boss. But of course the party was in Philly and not Buffalo. Psht.

Is Matt Sims gonna get a real chance to start in this "four way competition". The boys at fandemosports were reporting EJ Manuel has zero chance at aeeing the field, the offensive line is full of dumbos that cant run Greg Roman's offense (even though camp hasnt even started yet) and Matt Cassel is gauranteed to be the starter.

If Manuel is #3 on the depth chart he has to be traded. Cutting him is useless and having him third on the depth chart is useless. Will someone give up a conditional 7th with his $5 mil plus gauranteed contract?

Since I havent followed the NHL the last two years because the Sabres have been horrendous I forgot the divisions changed. WHY ARE THERE ONLY 4 DIVISIONS WITH LOPSIDED NUMBERS OF TEAMS?? Huh? Gary Bettman is an asshat.

Wait Im not done with the NHL. Besides there being no entertainment or goals in the regular season the dumbest thing about this league now is they are trying to expand? EXPAND? To another desert city? 32 teams? Do dumb.

Why the hell did Nebraska leave the Big XII for the Big 10?

Why the hell does the BIG XII still have only ten teams? It doesnt make sense on two levels.

Nick Saban would fail in the NFL. If anything he will burn out at Alabama and move to the Pac12.

Speaking of the Pac12 why isn't this league hiring better coaches? Is the Big 10 usurping the PAC12 as a football conference?

I dont want an 8 team college football playoff. Four is plenty.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Bills love Pornstars

Boobie Dixon is next after Duke Williams but at least Dixon kept it local with a Depew "star" lol

Monday, July 13, 2015

Drunkard Ryan Oreilly nabbed for DUI

By Steve

Is the ink even dry on that $52 million contract for Ryan O'reilly? Evidently he was drunk driving in Canada and ran into a Tim Hortons then peaced out before the cops rolled up. Doh
Those classy hockey players are so classy

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Porn Star Mia Khalifa Puts Duke Williams on Blast

By Steve

Looks like Duke Williams was put on blast by some porn "star" Mia Khalifa after he tried to meet up with her in Miami via a Twitter DM:

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Bitchin About Sports on a Thursday

By Steve

Well, now that we are an official source for news does that mean I have to take this blog more seriously? Nah fuck it. Bitchin about sports on  a Thursday:

- $10 to watch the Sabres rookies and UDFAs practice Friday night? Either this city is pathetic and an embarrassment or they are reallllllyyy bored. Oh its both. Paying to watch a scrimmage??!?

- Thank you to Ronald Darby for making us a little bit famous for a few minutes earlier this week. I had the foresight to realize @realRonaldDarby was having a mini meltdown on twitter and saved his tweets. They were published here and some how profootballtalk found our site and used us as a source for a post. Holla!

- Did anyone talk about the Womens World cup even a day after the game? It being a blow out made the game useless to watch and useless to care about. Scoring 5 goals is like scoring 150 points in an NFL game. Thanks for playing I wont see you in four years.

- How dumb are NFL players that three fingers were lost last weekend? If I am worth millions of dollars I'm not lighting dynomite on fire in my hands. Jeez, now Im even scared to blow shit up now. Who would have thought I would have learned something from the NFL.

-Didn't Wimbledon used to end on the 4th of July weekend? Seems stupid to have it the next weekend now.

- What are the odds Mark Cuban literally kills someone from the Clippers organization? If Im Steve Balmer Im nervous. But Deandre Jordan isn't even that good! Centers are as useless as ever and the guy isnt all that great any way. Granted it was a bullshit move to renig on a hand shake deal but it isnt the end of the world.

- oh yeah and WGR550 still sucks.