Saturday, September 11, 2010

2010 NFL AFC Preview

by Steve

AFC East

The Patriots are still the top dog. I don't care who the Jets signed or that the Dolphins won the division two years ago. Tom Brady just got paid and will be motivated to prove he is worth the huge caaaash. The defense is beyond suspect but the offense will be stout, not 18-1 stout but still stout. (9-7)

J-E-T-S over rated over rated overrated. The team won nine games last year after starting 7-7 and beating two teams that played back ups. Anyone recall how good the Bills looked against Indy week 17? Oh and fat Rex is a dogs name Ryan even thought they were eliminated from playoff contention. True they beat an awful Cinci team on the road and were winning in the AFC Championship game but they still aren't great. (9-7)

Da Bills, perennial mediocrities and they don't appear to be much improved. Jauron may have been the worst coach ever, so anything is an upgrade, but how much of an upgrade is Chan the man Gailey? Not worth more than a win or two, especially with this dearth of talent. Trent Edwards could have a breakout year but that likelihood is dim. Again the team may play better but right now that won't translate into many more victories. (6-10)

Miami may surprisingly be more overhyped than the overhyped Jets. Billy boy Parcells himself is down on Chad Henne. Their running backs are old as shit and all carved up. The defense will have eight new starters come 9/12 and Tony Sporano has gotten about all he can out of his name. I don't see it. (6-10)

AFC North

The Ravens are the odds on favorite to win the Norris. Their defense has a lot of old beat up pieces but seem to still be effective at least for 2010. Ray Ray is still out there murdering people and they can pound the rock. Harbaugh appears to be a decently good coach which always helps. The team's ceiling relies on Joe Flacco. (11-5)

Everyone seems to disregard the Steelers because Rapelisraper is out for four weeks but I don't. I really despise this franchise but they have had a lot of success and especially recently. Ol' raper will be back before you know it and the defense should be as stout as ever. The head coach, Mike Tomlin, is still unproven even with a ring. The running backs and WRs are also shaky. (9-7)

Cinci is very likely to be a one year wonder. How they went 6-0 in the division last year may be studied for years to come. Palmer is not an elite quarterback. The defense has some players but is not worth fearing. Could all 13 teams they played last year have underestimated them? And who doesn't have major reservations about Marv Lewis? (8-8)

The mistake on the lake is still on fire. WOW, do they really still have one year wonder Eric Mangina [sic] as their head football coach? This team is the 2002 Buffalo Bills bringing in Jake TAINT Delhomme. He is a stop gap of epically tragic proportions. Whiffing on Brady Quinn will have effects on this franchise for years to come unless magically Colt figures it out. (4-12)

AFC North

Peyton Manning (12-4)

How many times am I going to have to hear about the Houston Texans? Beat the Colts and you are worth thinking about. Beat the Colts in Indy and I'll hold my breath. Until then, keep stack piling defensive players and have a shitty head coach. (9-7)

Is VY committing suicide this week or does he wanna live past September. This guy is the biggest head case in the National Football League. Fisher has seen it all (well except a SB champs parade) and knows how to coach 'em up. The defense is still missing something but they are a challenge. CJ may put his stamp on the history books in 2010. (8-8)

JAX might be in for a back braker of a season. Meaning they'll alienate their allegedly reinvigorated fan base (look they sold some season tickets sans Tebow) and be escorted out of town. Unless David Garrard can find his 2008 form and steal game after game Del Rio will be coaching in the Sky Conference next season. (6-10)

AFC West

If anyone actually cared in Southern California the Chargers would be forced to sign their hold outs V Jackson and OT Marcus McNeill. Then again no one gives a shit and their home opener is blacked out. How the god damn is that possible?!?! This team is vastly superior to anyone else in the division, has the talent to get to the Superbowl and has been great for years. Pathetic. Move this team to LA, I don't give a shit about how 'bad the economy is'. (11-5)

KC - Denver - Oakland
None of them have a good head coach, none has a proven QB and neither of the three of them have done shit lately. Josh McDaniels is a loser piece of shit. Tom Cable is still some how the head coach of the Raiders. Does anyone know anything about Todd Hailey? The best quarterback out of the three teams would elevate said team but out of Cassell Orton and Campbell I don't see a decisive victor. Three way tie for second and last place (6-10)


  1. Sully delivers once again. Great column.

    Gailey defended Edwards from hecklers at training camp. "You dog one of us, you dog all of us," was priceless. I can't recall a single memorable Jauron quote, other than "It's really tough to win in our league."

  2. "It's never good to win...I mean, to lose." - Dick Jauron