Friday, April 15, 2016

Breaking Down Bills 2016 Schedule

By Steve

It is officially football season in Buffalo. The sked is out, the Sabres are to making the playoffs like the Bills are to making the playoffs err wait the Sabres are to making the playoffs like March in Buffalo is to Spring. Whatever, lets breakdown the schedule:

Week1  @ Baltimore
Winnable game against a team in flux. The line is +3 but Baltimore is a tough place to win. Last time I went to Bills at Ravens they lost in OT in tragic fashion. Give me a win.

Week 2  TNF v Jets
The Bills aren't good enough to start 2-0 but they aren't bad enough to start 0-2 either. Crowd will be 💯 and Bryce Petty will be rattled.
Win

Week 3  Cardinals
Woww I am way too positive right now. The Cardinals going West, after a great season, with a terrible finish.. that might equate to a let down season for Arians Palmer and co. But i cant predict a 3-0 start. Ooops
Win!

Week 4  @ Patriots
Lololol loss

After 4 games some how I have the Bills at 3-1 yikes.

Week 5  @ Rams
Slight chance I roll into SoCal. Im on a hot streak 1-0 in last 1 roadies. Rams suck but the Bills haven't traveled well out west in a while.
Tough L.

Week 6  v 49ers
Chip Kelly owns Rex Ryan and the Bills have been awful against SF for a while now. A tie would be a cop out so a lucky win is the prediction.
W barely.

Week 7  @ Dolphins
No respect for Adam Gase or Tannehill. Nothing is a given except Ryan Tannehill playing like shit against Buffalo.
Winnn

Week 8  v Patriots
Another devastating loss again and again and again another one. Uggghhh harumph.

After 8 games some 5-3

Week 9 @ Seahawks MNF
WTF?  This game makes zero sense. Why have two teams with absolutely no history together and zero chance of one team winning play against each other. Is this a cruel joke? Does the NFL hate ESPN? Granted this is a trap game for Seattle with two slobberknockers sandwiched on the outside (?) of this game but I have the spread at -27.5.
Blood bath, death bye great white shark.

Week 10  BYE
Love this strategically placed bye week. Middle of the season and after a bad loss on the west coast. Regroup boiiiiis.

Week 11  @ Bengals
What a coinkidink the fucking Cincinnati GOD DAMN Bengals in a win or the season might be in the tank game AGAIN. This team haunts me more than gym locker room hazing in high school. Knowing everything I know, ugh...
Loss

Week 12   Jaguars
Payback? I could see Jax shredding Rex and co yet again but c'mon EJ aint taking that field again (gulp [hopefully]).
Win but nail biter.

Week 13  @ Raiders
Black hole problems. Then again last time the Bills played the Raiders we thought it was a gauranteed win, does that mean this time we think its a gauranteed loss? Coin flip lands on tails
Loss

6-6 after 12 games. Smells like everything I've smelled for 16 years. Fuck.

Week 14 v Steelers
Is Rex coaching for his career in this game? Will zombie Rapelisraper be in a full body cast yet? How many piss stained shitsburgh towels am i gonna stomp, 50? 100? More? This game might get flexed (lolz probs not)
Loss

Week 15  v Browns
Not a gimme but fuck the Browns, they have no talent.
Win

Week 16  v Dolphins
Three straight home games in December? What did my Dad do to piss off the schedule makers? Christmas eve? Not gonna be a sober church trip that evening ha.
Win

Week 17  @ Jets
Bring it on home Rexie. What a meaningless game. Probably... but is it possible Bowels and co rain on our wild card parade? Whats good for the goose is good for the gander? Wouldn't you believe it, its just my luck.
Loss

.
.

Final record?
8-8
Lol

1 comment:

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