Top 10 Buffalo Bills 2017 Preseason Moments

By Steve

Granted, there is still 1 FUN game left against the archrival Detroit Lions and cut down day, so of course disaster and shock will almost certainly still ensue, but for now lets run down the top 10 moments of the Bills 2017 PREseason.

Yes, astoundingly, all of these things have happened just this training camp/preseason:

10. Adolphus Washington
Innocent! A rare good moment for the Bills when genius Adolphus Washington was let loose after a short non jury trial. A-Wash was caught with a gun in his car in a water slide parking lot party. The video was fun, where the cop said he was lucky the cop didnt shoot and kill him (ya kno cause hes a young black dude)

9. Shady talks Kaepernick
Just what OBD needed. Lesean Mccoy (the only player anyone in America ever heard of on this squad) coulsnt help him self and had to weigh in on Colin Kaepernick. Vick was 10 times better? Ha. Kaep is better than tiny Ty.

8. Dareus Sent Home
The $100 million man just loves to piss off th Buffalo News doesnt? Granted, hes an idiot and he wasn't even playing in the game because of injury but will this dude ever just cool it? He probably was a few minutes late for some meeting add to it that obviously Dougy McDerm hates him and this is a recipe for this shit. Sooo cant wait to see how this all eventually ends!

7. Cordy Glenn is still hurt
The foot is hanging on by a needle and the only good offensive lineman on the team hasn't practiced in weeks. But the brass is hopeful he'll be ready week 1.

6. Reggie Ragland trade for 2019 4th
Wait who? Alabama standout LB cant even crack thia linebacker corps? I guess getting anything back for this guy is sort of a win but really? 16 months ago Doug Whaley used two 4th round picks and the 41st overall pick to draft thia dude. Hes played zero games and still recovering from a torn ACL 12 months ago. Hmmm

5. Tiny Tyrod Concussed
The only thing worse than Tyrod Taylor in the 2017 preseason is a concussed TT. Yikes. But again Bills brass is cautiosly optimistic he'll be good to go week 1. Oof

4. Jordan Matthews Hurt Day 1
The trades are coming up later but part of those trades included a solid possession receiver in Jordan Matthews. And of course he gt hurt in the first fuckin practice and hasnt seen the field since. But hey Bills Brass is cautiously optimistic he will be ready week 1.

3. Bills Sign Anquan Boldin!
Whoa the Bills signed a solid veteran receiver and he actually wants to play here and work with the young WR corps. Fast forward 10 days....

2. Anquan Boldin Retires!
Does he have to pay back that $1 mil signing bonus? Did he last longer than Matt Leinart but shorter than Kevin Kolb? Why did he sign here in the first place? Did the Watkins/Darby trades force the retirement? How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie roll pop? The world may never know.

1. Sam Watkins and Ronald Darby Traded
Rarely does someone have to call.me at work because the Bills did something. And rarely do I start sweating after hearing the news. But these moves accomplished both. Whoa. These trades will take years to fully grade and pick winners and losers but clearly these trades were a tidal shift. Enthusiasm for the season and the franchise plummeted and dumb fucking tank talk is all the rage. Figuring that in, we all lose.

Mayweather v McGregor REACTION

By Steve

Anyone that said this fight woukdnt be worth the money was wrong. Anyone (like me) who said Floyd (woman beater) was a lock (bet $90 to win $17) was righy.

Conor Mcgregor boxed wayyyyy better than I and most thought he would. The broadcast had him winning the first 3 rounds!

Did we get a knock out? No. But it was def worth the $0 I paid to go to (716) and stand in front a 90 foot tv.

They went 9+ rounds and it was a real battle. Both boxers were "gracious" after (well after they had 300+ mil in the bank) the fight and we all knew who won.

Great fight? No. Good fight? Yes. Best we can ask for rn.? Def.

Bills Trade Watkins and Darby What World am I living in

By Steve

What. The. Fuck?

Bills trade No. 1:

Watkins & 2018 6th rd to Rams for E.J. Gaines, 2018 2nd rd pick

No. 2

Darby to Eagles for Matthews, 2018 3rd

Uhhhhh? Wha?
I guess the Bills are loading up for 2018 draft.

The Darby trade seems like a steal but the Wakins trade makes no sense. EJ Gaines is basically a nobody former 6th round pick who just got his ass kicked in a fight earlier thia week.

Jordan Matthews is good but not great and will be a free agent after the season. Hmmmm

Why Your Team Sucks 2017 Buffalo Bills

By steve.

Here it is, christmas in August!

Deadspin's annual why your team sucks Buffalo Bills

Some highlights:
We arent good enough to be on Earth we just orbit it "The GM was finally canned AFTER free agency and the draft (juh?), and celebrated by doing what everyone does on that barren frost moon"

McDermott is gonna make us long for the days of the Ryan boiz: "Something tells me that this man has just the right combination of stoicism and humorlessness to make you remember the Ryan years more fondly than you ought to. "

As we all know, we are racist: "Tyrod Taylor, who struggles to break 200 yards passing a game and yet is somehow the best QB this team has had in 987 years. If this guy’s last name had been FLUTIE, you assholes would have sold out his jersey a year and a half ago."

Our owner sucks: "Now that we’re long past Terry Pegula rescuing you from Ralph Wilson’s tomb (Chris Berman will be buried with him!), I think we can all finally admit that the new owner is just as clueless and shitty as the last owner."

And the best line the early 90s Bills were a myth: "The Bills I know are a funeral dirge. They are a seafaring expedition party that crashed on an ice floe and have been forced to subsist for decades on seal blood and melted snow."

Down right mean: "As long as I live, these poor bastards and their inbred fans will serve as fresh kibble for New England. Meanwhile, Tom Brady will shoot himself up with beet juice and play until he’s 106. You people are ruined."

Best email: "The most exciting season of my adult life heavily featured Kyle Orton."

Second best: "I begin every December seeing the 6-6 Bills at the bottom of the “IN THE HUNT” graphics and have repeatedly watched week 15 Ravens-Bengals games to root for the tie that’ll keep Buffalo’s 1% chance of making a wild card spot alive."

All in all as good as can be expected. Now i meed to go drink an 18 before checking into AA. YIKESSSSSS

2017 Bills Training Camp Report Week 1

By Steve

After a week at St John Fisher lets see what HOT TAEKS we have about the 2017 Buffalo Bills

Sean "Dougy" McDermott is a psychopath. He wakes up too early, sounds like a cliche machine and might "love" football a bit too much. Hes a mix of Jauron and Marrone with a little Levy sprinkled on top.

Marcell Dareus is still a fat turd.
At least hes not suspended yet but he did grt hurt. Bad hammy! Then again he doesnt need to practice any way. Lets hope he plays more than 8 games.

Tiny Ty is tiny
Guy is such a lil cutie. From "reports" hes as shitty as ever. FUN

The other Va Tech QB is TURNING HEADS
Who doesnt love an athlete turned tightend. No joke here, 3rd string project TE Logan Thomas has been reppin dem hokies and sounds like he can catch.

Sam Watkins is alive.
Who knew? Wait why the fuck did they not pick up his 5th year option?

Shady is good.

Reggie Ragland is not.

Mike Tolbert is a LOCKER ROOM GUY.

You can never have enough fullbacks.

Seantrell Henderson is still on the team. Also hes still suspended.

I still cant pick Brandon Beane out of a line up.

Terry Pegula is still dodging questions

WGR550 stick sucks

Sal Cappaccio has a cold.

Dougy McDermott loves waking up in the morning.

Why do the Bills practice at the Ralph Friday?