Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Why Your Team Sucks 2017 Buffalo Bills

By steve.

Here it is, christmas in August!

Deadspin's annual why your team sucks Buffalo Bills

Some highlights:
We arent good enough to be on Earth we just orbit it "The GM was finally canned AFTER free agency and the draft (juh?), and celebrated by doing what everyone does on that barren frost moon"

McDermott is gonna make us long for the days of the Ryan boiz: "Something tells me that this man has just the right combination of stoicism and humorlessness to make you remember the Ryan years more fondly than you ought to. "

As we all know, we are racist: "Tyrod Taylor, who struggles to break 200 yards passing a game and yet is somehow the best QB this team has had in 987 years. If this guy’s last name had been FLUTIE, you assholes would have sold out his jersey a year and a half ago."

Our owner sucks: "Now that we’re long past Terry Pegula rescuing you from Ralph Wilson’s tomb (Chris Berman will be buried with him!), I think we can all finally admit that the new owner is just as clueless and shitty as the last owner."

And the best line the early 90s Bills were a myth: "The Bills I know are a funeral dirge. They are a seafaring expedition party that crashed on an ice floe and have been forced to subsist for decades on seal blood and melted snow."

Down right mean: "As long as I live, these poor bastards and their inbred fans will serve as fresh kibble for New England. Meanwhile, Tom Brady will shoot himself up with beet juice and play until he’s 106. You people are ruined."

Best email: "The most exciting season of my adult life heavily featured Kyle Orton."

Second best: "I begin every December seeing the 6-6 Bills at the bottom of the “IN THE HUNT” graphics and have repeatedly watched week 15 Ravens-Bengals games to root for the tie that’ll keep Buffalo’s 1% chance of making a wild card spot alive."

All in all as good as can be expected. Now i meed to go drink an 18 before checking into AA. YIKESSSSSS

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