Thursday, August 15, 2013

Vikings v Bills Preseason Preview

by Steve

Back to the Ralph (despite all the bullshit parking lot restrictions) Friday at 7:00 against the Minnesota Vikings.  Plus, it is kids day aka $1 dog night and awkward Canadians swearing in front of a ton of children, pay dirt!

Normally these preseason games are about as boring and useless as the Buffalo Sabres but a new coach, a new rookie quarterback and a new sense of (gasp) optimism? Maybe?  Wait, why the hell is Kevin Kolb starting?  Is Christian Ponder's wife gonna be there?

On the bright side the 2 to 3 snaps psycho Jared Allen will be on the field will be against ol' Kolb-er right?  Then again, if I have to stay into the 3rd quarter to see Erik James Manuel in person I'm gonna be pissed.

Quick Hits:
  • Don't play CJ Spiller
  • No Kiko Alonso sucks
  • Is Crezdon Butler really going to supplant Mr $5 mil himself Leodis McKelvin as the second starting CB?
  • Will Manuel actually throw a deep ball? Probs
  • Don't play Cliff Spiller
  • I'm interested to see if Nate Hackett really is the big monster in cartoons that pets their cat too much and accidentally kills it or not.
  • I'm going to predict Marquise Goodwin has another house call.
  • Is Marcell Dareus alive?
  • Will Pettine's defense come out in a 3-4?
  • Place kicking will be a highlight of the game and young buck Dustin Hopkins better not boot another friggen kickoff outta bounds.
  • I hope Rian Lindell rents and not owns.
  • Are they really going to confiscate my funnel by 6pm?
  • Bench Spillszie

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