Bills at Patriots Part II

This may be the single most one sided game on paper in the NFL this year. At nearly every single position, the patriots have a ridiculous advantage. That explains the 16.5 point spread in week 3. That is unbelievable. In a league based on parody, a team is 16.5 point underdogs in September. Let's compare each team position by position.

Losman vs. Brady: Uh, Brady, although JP is a better athlete and has a stronger arm. His brain may be 1/10 the size though and Brady has Giselle, JP has some hippy surfer from Cali.

Lynch vs. Maroney: Advantage Lynch. The only position that this can be said about. Lynch has shown that he is a special player even without any threat of a passing game.

Stallworth and Moss vs. Evans and Price: Ugly...This is like USC vs. UB. Evans may be good but Price is about as good as Drew Haddad. Moss finally has a good quarterback and is on pace for 24 touchdowns. Don't be surprised if he gets near that.

Ben Watson vs. Robert Royal: Robert Royal shouldn't even be on an NFL team in my opinion and Ben Watson is a sick athlete for his size...advantage Watson hands down. None of these have even been close except running back.

Pats O line vs. Bills O line: Brady has been sacked twice for 16 yards, Losman six sacks for 58 yards. You can't convince me that this 42 yard discrepancy is solely on the quarterback's shoulders. Advantage Patriots.

Pats D Line vs. Bills D Line: Noone outside of Buffalo has even heard of anyone on the Bills D line except maybe Schobel. The Pats have beats like Seymour and Wilfork, although Seymour isn't playing. They have the rookie Jarvis Green stepping in and I would take Green, Wilfork and Ty Warren over any of the scum bags on the Bills D line any day. Advantage New England.

Pats Linebackers vs. Bills Linebackers: The Bills have two young studs in Crowell and Pos. However, they still have John DiGiorgio in the starting lineup. As much as we hate them and like to say they are aging, Adalius Thomas, Tedy Bruschi, Mike Vrabel and Roosevelt Colvin are still a good group. These guys have never even heard of John DiGiorgio. Advantage Patriots.

Secondary: The Bills have noone that compares to Asante Samuel. McGee is not a number one corner and Ashton Youboty is still so raw. This Bills may have a slight advantage at strong safety with Rodney Harrison suspended in Dante Whitner but not big enough to say the Bills are stronger at the position. The nod goes to Samuel, Hobbs, Eugene Wilson and James Sanders. Although, Jim Leonhard does lead the NFL in interceptions.

Special Teams: Advantage Bills. The Bills have the best special teams in the NFL. McGee and Parrish are threats to take it to the house every time he touches the ball. The only problem is, Parrish doesn't get a lot of chances since the Bills stop teams on third downs only 14 out of 29 times this season. McGee may have a lot of chances in this game and may have to bring back more than one for the Bills to have a chance.

Coaching: Do I need to go here? I don't care if Belichick cheats or doesn't cheat. He doesn't even need to show up or game plan to be a better coach than Dickhead Jauron. Dick and has staff have shown a level of ineptitude this season that I didn't even think was achievable by an NFL coaching staff. Playing so close to the vest and trying not to lose rather than trying to win from the opening kick off has proved costly for this team especially opening day. The Bills had no business losing that football game. Any time there is a close game and coaching really comes into play, the Bills have no shot. Why did this team lose 7 games by 8 points or less last year? Coaching.

What needs to happen for the Bills to win? Easy...New England needs to get caught trying to cheat before the game and then get forced to forfeit. That is honestly this teams only hope.

Keys for Buffalo to cover, since they aren't going to win:

• Get Parrish involved on offense. Run some reverses and mix it up a little. It's about time Fairchild flips to page 2 in the play book. The 4 plays we have tried so far have been worthless.
• Get Lynch involved in the passing game. Isn't this why we wanted this guy so bad, because he is such a good receiver? Has Fairchild ever heard of a screen pass? Uh, wait, that must be on the 2nd page of the playbook. Maybe he will get crazy and bust that out this week.
• Where is Lee Evans? Throw like 10 bombs to this dude tomorrow. I don't care if only 1 is caught, just try something. The number one receiver on this team has 20 receiving yards through 2 games. That just isn't going to get it done. Can Peerless take any pressure off Evans? Chances are no.
• Pressure Brady somehow. They may have to blitz 8 guys just to get a guy in Brady's face. That will lead to touchdown after touchdown by Moss. Although letting Brady sit in the pocket will also lead to touchdown after touchdown by the Patriots. It really is a lose lose.

Prediction: The Bills are outclassed...BUT that is why they play the games. No really, this game is going to be a disaster. This is an honest prediction, not me just being an asshole. Patriots 45 Bills 3. 45 to 3. The team could fold after this debacle, but let's be realistic. Dick Jauron is our coach. It will be 35-0 at halftime.

Go Bills!