Thursday, April 1, 2010

MLB 2010 preview: NL Central

by Steve

In our continuing series to predict exactly what is going to happen in baseball this season and inform you of the numerous things you're too dumb to know; let us break down the National League Central.

St Louis Cardinals 94 wins
The media darling of Major League Baseball, the St Louis Cardinals are perpetual favorites in the eyes of most prognosticators. Maybe it is because they have the best player in the league, but I think it has more to do with them being in the middle of the country, a small big market team that avoids controversy and the spot light. They're overrated. Pooj and Holliday are solid but what about the rest of the position players? Molina is good but is CF Colby Rasmus really the next coming of.. ? Then again the mediocrity of this division helps big time.

Question mark
2nd, 3rd and SS. Are Freese, Schumaker and Ryan good enough?
Exclamation point
Carpenter and Wainwright are under rated

Cincinnati Reds 86 wins
Is this team always the most over hyped underdog in March/April or is it just me? Volquez is on the 60 day DL, not good. Harang had an awful '09 while Arroyo was solid. Those two will have the biggest impact on the Reds '10 season. Then again which Bailey and Cueto will show up, the young studs or noodle armed flops? Who knows maybe this team is the perfect combination of young, Bruce, Votto and Stubbs, and old, Cabrera, Rolen and Phillips.

Question Mark
The rotation

Exclamation Point
Again my sleeper for 2010, why buck the trend!?

Milwaukee Brewers 85 wins
After an injury plagued 2009 Ricky Weeks is due for a big season. Braun and Fielder are entrenched all-stars but the rest of the team is mediocre. Hopefully for Brewer nation Carlos Gomez figures it out with a change of scenery and that Escobar is ready for the Bigs. Get to know Casey McGehee and start to forget who Corey Hart is.

Question Mark
Are either Gallardo or Wolf top of the rotation guys?

Exclamation point
The Gomez for JJ Hardy trade will define the 2010 Brew crew

Chicago Cubs 79 wins
Lovable losers my ass. This team might just be a bunch of losers. Their window is shutting quick. D Lee is soon to be 34, Ramirez soon to be 32, and Soriano is 34. The rest of the team is young but not as skilled. Soto needs to make some major strides from behind the dish and Fuckyoudome needs to be better. Marmol is a relative new comer to the 9th inning while Samardzija needs to start pitching 6+ innings.

Question Mark
Why is Marlon Byrd the starting center fielder?

Exclamation point
This team needs to make some moves ASAP

Houston Astros 71 wins
Geoff Blum might be the worst starting 1b in baseball. Pedro Feliz will not be an awful 3b signing. Jason err Michael Bourne and Hunter Pence need to take over this team and become their new identity. Berkman man only miss a few weeks with the knee injury but he is 34 and might be breaking down for good. Carlos Lee makes a ton of jack but his stats are ridiculously consistent.

Question Mark
Who the hell is Tommy Manzella?

Exclamation Point
This rotation stinks

Pittsburgh Pirates 67 wins
Andrew McClutchen Andrew McClutchen Andrew McClutchen Andrew McClutchen Andrew McClutchen Andrew McClutchen Andrew McClutchen Andrew McClutchen

Question Mark
Is this team going through 18 more years of rebuilding?

Exclamation point
The city of Pittsburgh deserves to have one crummy team fuck 'em.


  1. Marlon Byrd is a starter because he hit .283 20 hr and 90 rbis.

  2. one good year in texas, his only good year, he'll be 33. give me a god damn break


  3. What was the alternative?