Why are Yankees fans such bitches?

by Steve

Seriously, why are Yankees fans such bitches? No other fan base in the history of American sports is so whiny sensitive annoying and absolutely pathetic. They haven't won shit since Roger 'the cheater' Clemens roided out on the mound and nearly impaled Mike Piazza in a bullshit 5 game win. Why are Yankees fans so holier than thou and vehemently defend this baseball franchise against any and all negativity?

The number of middle fingers, honks, scowls, moonings, threats, and yelps while driving my car with a 'Yankees suck' bumper sticker is just the tipping point. There are a few things to first point out about these 'die hard bronx bombers fans'. All of their parents, grandparents, and great grandparents were yankees fans evidently. They wear jackets, t-shirts, hats, and are always sure to make it known that their team has won 26 championships. And lastly, they are always in denial about the team and its chances.

First things first, lets break down the "26 World Series rings". Here are the facts... They won 18 of these titles before 1959. In that time there were only 16 teams. (seemingly half of which were New York city based teams[yankees, giants, dodgers]) So there was a 19% chance a NYC team would win the world series every year. And of course who ever won a lot during that time wouldn't move to the expanding South and West (ala Dodgers and Giants) Next, 4 of those World Series' were won during the Korean War and 2 during WWII, all during a time when the talent pool was certainly diluted, less interesting, and less competitive. Lastly, since 1963 the great Yankees are 6-6 in the World Series.

Now on to the relatives were fans bullshit. I don't care that your grandpappy was a big Red Ruffing fan or that your uncle Charlie caught a foul ball once sitting in the right field bleachers. Since when did everyone have to cheer for the same team their dad or older brother rooted for? If you weren't born and bred in the Bronx (alright I'll give you all of NYC) or have season tickets for more than 1 season you don't have any real reason to be a Yankee fan other than you're an idiot.

Lets face it, the Yankees got lucky in buying a World Series in 2000 when they still had a nucleus of 'true yankees' left and since have been unable to buy the Ring. The Yankees aren't due for a World Series this year or any subsequent year. They aren't any better than any other team on paper. Robinson Cano and Milky [sic] Cabrera aren't the next great Yankees. Rivera is 38 and not getting younger, Girardi is a bum that got fired in Miami, and Philip Hughes blows.

Give it up, the "glory years" (5 years when the team dominated just after another expansion of the league) are well over, they died in 2001. Please, just buy a BJ Upton jersey and move on, cause its gonna be a long time before you bandwagon fans can cheer for another parade down Broadway. And the death of this franchise will all come to a head with the demolition of Yankee Stadium, the House that Ruth Built. I can't wait for that pile of shit to come crumbling down and with it any memory of a once proud franchise.