Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Top 10 Buffalo Bills 2017 Preseason Moments

By Steve

Granted, there is still 1 FUN game left against the archrival Detroit Lions and cut down day, so of course disaster and shock will almost certainly still ensue, but for now lets run down the top 10 moments of the Bills 2017 PREseason.

Yes, astoundingly, all of these things have happened just this training camp/preseason:

10. Adolphus Washington
Innocent! A rare good moment for the Bills when genius Adolphus Washington was let loose after a short non jury trial. A-Wash was caught with a gun in his car in a water slide parking lot party. The video was fun, where the cop said he was lucky the cop didnt shoot and kill him (ya kno cause hes a young black dude)

9. Shady talks Kaepernick
Just what OBD needed. Lesean Mccoy (the only player anyone in America ever heard of on this squad) coulsnt help him self and had to weigh in on Colin Kaepernick. Vick was 10 times better? Ha. Kaep is better than tiny Ty.

8. Dareus Sent Home
The $100 million man just loves to piss off th Buffalo News doesnt? Granted, hes an idiot and he wasn't even playing in the game because of injury but will this dude ever just cool it? He probably was a few minutes late for some meeting add to it that obviously Dougy McDerm hates him and this is a recipe for this shit. Sooo cant wait to see how this all eventually ends!

7. Cordy Glenn is still hurt
The foot is hanging on by a needle and the only good offensive lineman on the team hasn't practiced in weeks. But the brass is hopeful he'll be ready week 1.

6. Reggie Ragland trade for 2019 4th
Wait who? Alabama standout LB cant even crack thia linebacker corps? I guess getting anything back for this guy is sort of a win but really? 16 months ago Doug Whaley used two 4th round picks and the 41st overall pick to draft thia dude. Hes played zero games and still recovering from a torn ACL 12 months ago. Hmmm

5. Tiny Tyrod Concussed
The only thing worse than Tyrod Taylor in the 2017 preseason is a concussed TT. Yikes. But again Bills brass is cautiosly optimistic he'll be good to go week 1. Oof

4. Jordan Matthews Hurt Day 1
The trades are coming up later but part of those trades included a solid possession receiver in Jordan Matthews. And of course he gt hurt in the first fuckin practice and hasnt seen the field since. But hey Bills Brass is cautiously optimistic he will be ready week 1.

3. Bills Sign Anquan Boldin!
Whoa the Bills signed a solid veteran receiver and he actually wants to play here and work with the young WR corps. Fast forward 10 days....

2. Anquan Boldin Retires!
Does he have to pay back that $1 mil signing bonus? Did he last longer than Matt Leinart but shorter than Kevin Kolb? Why did he sign here in the first place? Did the Watkins/Darby trades force the retirement? How many licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie roll pop? The world may never know.

1. Sam Watkins and Ronald Darby Traded
Rarely does someone have to call.me at work because the Bills did something. And rarely do I start sweating after hearing the news. But these moves accomplished both. Whoa. These trades will take years to fully grade and pick winners and losers but clearly these trades were a tidal shift. Enthusiasm for the season and the franchise plummeted and dumb fucking tank talk is all the rage. Figuring that in, we all lose.

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